Female Ritual of Rage as a Ceremony

Women pay a lot of money to shout, to beat sticks in the woods. It's called the ritual of rage.

Kimberly Helmus is still shaking with thoughts of his first ritual of rage.

Two-and-a-half years ago, a cybersecurity engineer went on vacation in Scotland with Mia Banducci, a writer and self-proclaimed "Godmother Spiritual Fairy" better known online as Mia Magic.

As part of the retreat, Banducci held a ritual of rage: a ceremony in which participants shout ??and hit with large sticks on the ground in the forest. Participants are encouraged to think about the people and events that offended them and to shout and wave for at least 20 minutes or until they can no longer move their arms.

Rituals of rage have attracted attention on TikTok, where they have resonated, especially among women. In the comments section, women describe how touching it is to see other women embody their anger - emotion experts who say society often does not encourage women to express them.

"There’s no place to see women so angry and not be judged," Helmus says. "She has a hormonal background. She's just out of her mind. She's just crazy. She's just having her period. It's just whatever you want." It was a place where you could probably, for the first time in a very, very long time, if ever, be shouting loudly about how you feel."

Ритуал ярости — это церемония

The Ritual of Rage is a ceremony in which the participants shout ??and hit with large sticks on the ground in a forest. Participants are encouraged to think about the people and events that have harmed them.

What is the ritual of anger?

Banducci held anger rituals for several years and began holding them first for herself, then for friends, and eventually as part of her multi-day retreats, which include other activities and can cost anywhere from $2,000 to $4,000. Her one-day version costs $222 per ticket, she said.

The process of the ritual of rage is quite simple. First, says Banducci, participants collect large sticks, summoning in their minds "every person who has ever crossed you, who has ever hurt you, who has ever ignored your boundaries, used you, or in any way insulted you." After a few warm-up breaths, screaming and rocking begin. The ritual is held in the woods so that participants can make noise without fear of disturbing nearby people.

Banducci is not the only person to host events dedicated to anger. Secret Sanctuary will host a "Sacred Rage Ceremony" in Alberta, Canada, in July, and Jessica Ricchetti, a writer and self-proclaimed mystic, will host a women’s retreat of "Sacred Rage" in North Carolina in June.

"When people do that and allow themselves to vent their anger, their ability to rejoice really expands," says Banducci. "They can feel more happiness and pleasure and return home to their families with more gratitude, ease and peace."

Ритуалы ярости часто проводятся в лесу

Rituals of rage are often held in the woods, so participants can make noise without fear of disturbing nearby people. Unexpected feelings may occur during a ritual of rage.

Helmus, for example, thought that her first ritual of rage would be to eliminate the anger she felt toward her ex-husband. Instead, she felt something much deeper: the grief she had held ever since witnessing a friend’s death when she was 15.

"I remember that it was a very clear moment when I thought, ‘Oh, that’s what this is about,’" she says. "It often seems to me that you can't really feel a lot until you've worked it out."

What do rage rooms have to do with sex? Turns out, a lot.

What does the therapist think about the rituals of anger?

The psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says that people deal with anger in different ways, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to the problem of rage.

Some people are better able to cope with rage with activation strategies, such as hitting a punching bag or exercising intensely. For others, soothing strategies, such as deep breathing, a slow walk, or calm music, work best.

"It’s important to know the best way to deal with anger before embarking on a rage ritual," Sarkis says.

"When you do something like this, it's important to know if it increases your anger or reduces it?" she says. "It's individual. It depends on past experience. It depends on your own mindset. It depends only on the chemistry of the brain."

Yet Sarkis is not against the rituals of rage. If they help you release anger, you can afford it, and they are done safely, she sees no harm in it.

"I’m for being in someone’s mindset, for being in their budget, for being in their own well-being and safety," she says. "We are very individual."

The process of the ritual of rage is quite simple. First, says Mia Banducci, participants collect big sticks, representing in their minds "every person who has ever crossed you, who has ever hurt you, who has ever ignored your boundaries, used you, or in any way insulted you." Then the screams and rocking begin.

Процесс ритуала ярости довольно прост.

First, says Mia Banducci, participants collect big sticks, representing in their minds "every person who has ever crossed you, who has ever hurt you, who has ever ignored your boundaries, used you, or in any way insulted you." Then the screams and rocking begin.

Why are the rituals of rage especially interesting for women?

Rituals of anger seem to have resonated, especially among women who comment on social media how touching it is to see women vent their anger.

"Why did I have an immediate internal reaction and start crying?" one woman wrote. "I was literally crying when I saw this... I NEED it," wrote another. "I, as a middle-aged woman with even more rage, need it!!" wrote another.

Sarkis says this is not surprising. After all, she says, women have historically been denied the opportunity to exercise their right to be angry.

Ритуалы ярости, кажется, нашли отклик

Rituals of rage seem to have resonated, especially among women who comment on TikTok, how touching it is to see women vent their anger. Banducci says men are taught to suppress sadness, and women are taught to suppress rage.

"It's like, "Don't be a bully," or "Don't be angry," or "Don't be aggressive," or "Don't stand up for yourself." "Don't protect your integrity." "Don’t tell anyone that they don’t have the consent to touch your body or talk to you in a particular way," she says. "There are certain emotions that are accepted in gender binary that each of us should feel. Men need to cry - and it is very useful for men to cry - and women need to know how to be angry."

Justin Bieber burst into tears, "Men should pay attention."

Helmus said that by the end of her first ritual of rage, participants were covered in mud, with bruises and cuts on their hands. Sticks were broken everywhere.

She says she’s learned a lot from the experience and has done it twice since: "It’s really a place where you can be such a wild, wild woman and you won’t be looked at any differently than with love, acceptance and care."

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